Compromised Intimacy

Sexual union is a two-in-one-flesh intimacy that requires the complete surrender of the spouses to each other. Contraception compromises this intimacy. It is a way of holding back, of not giving everything one has and not being prepared to accept all the consequences that flow from an act of undiluted sexual union. Those who employ contraception usually do so in the interest of gaining some measure of control over their lives. But this desire for control is somewhat illusory since it usually means a willingness to give oneself to something other than the marriage itself. Spouses often compromise their marital intimacy so that they do not compromise their intimacy with something else. This other "intimacy" is frequently a certain standard of living. …

(p. 47)…The family is the basic unit of society. More fundamentally, marriage is the basis of the family. Even more fundamentally, a loving, intimate union of husband and wife is the basis of a good marriage. Therefore, the uncompromised intimacy between spouses establishes a solid foundation for society. A good marriage, as Professor William E. May asserts, is the "rock on which the family is built." "Children can flourish fully," he states, "only in the family rooted in the marriage of one man and woman. Only if this truth is recognized can a 'civilization of love' be developed."9